The Healing Process – July 2, 2014

Welcome to Right-On with HFG Happy Families Support Network Inc. (HFG)

HFG is a not-for-profit support group that provides ongoing support to women and children who have experienced abuse

HFG is a free support group for women and children who have experienced abuse, run by women who have experienced abuse

The topic for today is – The Healing Process

Where do you hurt or need healing after domestic abuse? Your mind? Your body? Your heart? Your self-esteem?

After domestic abuse, you need to relearn the joys of life…the process of having your own needs met, heal mind, soul & body

Domestic abuse hurt your view of the world & the people in it. You need to heal the whole person to recover from domestic abuse

Change your beliefs & ways of thinking about yourself to regain your power, your self-love, your trust in yourself & the world

When you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, or beating yourself up & blaming yourself for the abuse

Here are new mantras to develop and say to yourself instead:

  1. I am loving and loveable and I deserve to be happy
  2. I am in charge of my life. I make my own decisions
  3. Domestic abuse is not my fault and it does not define who I am
  4. I am strong and resourceful. I am a valuable member of society

It takes time & patience to reprogram your way of thinking about yourself & shaking the negatives of domestic abuse

You will need lots of help and positive encouragement to heal from domestic abuse

You need as many positive, supportive voices as possible to drown out the ugliness left behind by domestic abuse

Build yourself a strong support system. Where are all the positive, encouraging, non-judgmental people in your life?

Family, friends, minister, priest, doctor, dentist, counselor, support groups…these trusted people are now on your go-to team

When you feel sad & isolated, reach out to someone on your go-to team to help with the load as you recover from domestic abuse

Allow each member of your support system to help you in whatever way they are able

Making time to take care of yourself is a very important part of healing from domestic abuse

Make a list of all the things that made you happy & you enjoyed doing before domestic abuse, test them one at a time

Try new things, join a club, fitness class, take a cooking class, do lots of group activities to meet new people

Learn something new…self defence…reward yourself for learning or doing something new

Join a support group with other women who have been through domestic abuse

Open up about your experiences with domestic, listen to other women talk, you will see you are not alone

Give yourself as much time as you need to heal from domestic abuse, don’t rush or pressure yourself

When you are ready for counseling, remember to shop around, make sure you are comfortable with the counselor you choose

A part of healing from domestic abuse is facing what happened. Don’t block it out or try to forget it

Accept that the abuse happened and that it was not your fault

Keep a journal of what you remember about the domestic abuse

The more you write and face what happened the less emotional power the memory of domestic abuse will have over you

Acknowledge your feelings, allow yourself to grieve and therefore heal after domestic abuse

Believe in yourself and trust that you have a purpose in life. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

The process of healing after domestic abuse is very different for each person and you will have to do what works for you

Some people will go quickly through some stages of the healing process while others will take many tries to get it right

Healing from domestic abuse is a many-layered process, a process you should not go through on your own

The very first step towards recovering from domestic abuse is…WHEN YOU REACH OUT FOR HELP…

Have you left an abusive relationship?

What have you found to be helpful in recovering?

What would you recommend to others who are coping with moving on after abuse?

Thanks for joining Right-On with HFG. We look forward to seeing you next Wednesday July 9 for our weekly Right-On conversation

The topic for next week is – Relearning Life Skills – Managing Your Money 

Please email your questions and comments to

If you would like more information on the HFG support group please email

Have a great day! HFG Hugs!!

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