The Healing Process – July 2, 2014

Welcome to Right-On with HFG Happy Families Support Network Inc. (HFG)
HFG is a not-for-profit support group that provides ongoing support to women and children who have experienced abuse
HFG is a free support group for women and children who have experienced abuse, run by women who have experienced abuse
The topic for today is – The Healing Process
Where do you hurt or need healing after domestic abuse? Your mind? Your body? Your heart? Your self-esteem?
After domestic abuse, you need to relearn the joys of life…the process of having your own needs met, heal mind, soul & body
Domestic abuse hurt your view of the world & the people in it. You need to heal the whole person to recover from domestic abuse
Change your beliefs & ways of thinking about yourself to regain your power, your self-love, your trust in yourself & the world
When you find yourself thinking negative thoughts about yourself, or beating yourself up & blaming yourself for the abuse
Here are new mantras to develop and say to yourself instead:

  1. I am loving and loveable and I deserve to be happy
  2. I am in charge of my life. I make my own decisions
  3. Domestic abuse is not my fault and it does not define who I am
  4. I am strong and resourceful. I am a valuable member of society

It takes time & patience to reprogram your way of thinking about yourself & shaking the negatives of domestic abuse
You will need lots of help and positive encouragement to heal from domestic abuse
You need as many positive, supportive voices as possible to drown out the ugliness left behind by domestic abuse
Build yourself a strong support system. Where are all the positive, encouraging, non-judgmental people in your life?
Family, friends, minister, priest, doctor, dentist, counselor, support groups…these trusted people are now on your go-to team
When you feel sad & isolated, reach out to someone on your go-to team to help with the load as you recover from domestic abuse
Allow each member of your support system to help you in whatever way they are able
Making time to take care of yourself is a very important part of healing from domestic abuse
Make a list of all the things that made you happy & you enjoyed doing before domestic abuse, test them one at a time
Try new things, join a club, fitness class, take a cooking class, do lots of group activities to meet new people
Learn something new…self defence…reward yourself for learning or doing something new
Join a support group with other women who have been through domestic abuse
Open up about your experiences with domestic, listen to other women talk, you will see you are not alone
Give yourself as much time as you need to heal from domestic abuse, don’t rush or pressure yourself
When you are ready for counseling, remember to shop around, make sure you are comfortable with the counselor you choose
A part of healing from domestic abuse is facing what happened. Don’t block it out or try to forget it
Accept that the abuse happened and that it was not your fault
Keep a journal of what you remember about the domestic abuse
The more you write and face what happened the less emotional power the memory of domestic abuse will have over you
Acknowledge your feelings, allow yourself to grieve and therefore heal after domestic abuse
Believe in yourself and trust that you have a purpose in life. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise
The process of healing after domestic abuse is very different for each person and you will have to do what works for you
Some people will go quickly through some stages of the healing process while others will take many tries to get it right
Healing from domestic abuse is a many-layered process, a process you should not go through on your own
The very first step towards recovering from domestic abuse is…WHEN YOU REACH OUT FOR HELP…
Have you left an abusive relationship?
What have you found to be helpful in recovering?
What would you recommend to others who are coping with moving on after abuse?
Thanks for joining Right-On with HFG. We look forward to seeing you next Wednesday July 9 for our weekly Right-On conversation
The topic for next week is – Relearning Life Skills – Managing Your Money 
Please email your questions and comments to
If you would like more information on the HFG support group please email
Have a great day! HFG Hugs!!

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