Surviving After Abuse

Welcome to Right-On with HFG Happy Families Support Network Inc. (HFG)

HFG is a not-for-profit support group that provides ongoing support to women and children who have experienced abuse

HFG is a free support group for women and children who have experienced abuse, run by women who have experienced abuse

The topic for today is – Surviving After Abuse

How do you survive after domestic abuse? First you must decide if you are a victim or a survivor

Are you going to continue to live your life in fear of your abuser? Re-living painful events daily and never moving forward?

Or are you going to forgive yourself, accept what has happened and change your life, make your own future without abuse?

Are you going to hold your head high and know that you are strong and you have the courage to move forward even in hard times

YES. I’M TALKING TO YOU! Mother, daughter, sister, wife, aunt, friend, co-worker – CHANGE YOUR INNER DIALOGUE!

Make your inner dialogue one that is POSITIVE, ENCOURAGING and UPLIFTING so you can move forward. You are SURVIVORS!

Life after domestic abuse can be a long and difficult journey. Don’t give up, keep going, it will get better

Surviving abuse involves understanding yourself again, putting your life back together & learning to live & love without abuse

This can be a scary process, but ultimately results in the freedom to love life and discover a new and more confident you

In many cases, each day you live as a survivor can be a struggle, caring for children, feeling alone, scared, or unable to cope

Your confidence and self-esteem might be low and it might be frightening to make decisions on your own

You may still feel guilt for leaving, feel isolated, overwhelmed & frightened facing your new life & responsibilities

It’s normal to feel a wide range of emotions after leaving your abuser – sadness, grief, anger, loneliness, loss, betrayal

It takes time to return to your confident you after abuse, but credit yourself for your strength in leaving your abuser

To survive you need to heal your wounds. Those you can see will heal & disappear. But how do you heal the wounds you can’t see

Here are some suggestions to help you heal the wounds you can’t see so you can survive after abuse

  1. Accept your past, learn from it. Forgive your abuser so you can let go of the past. Then forgive yourself
  2. Love & believe in yourself, trust your instincts. Don’t justify why you feel something, your instincts are never wrong
  3. Change your inner dialogue – negative to positive. If you think something negative about yourself say something nice aloud
  4. Practice optimism. It will eventually become a natural part of your everyday life
  5. SMILE, LAUGH and PLAY. It’s OK to be happy. Enjoy the feeling and remember it when you are sad to help change your mood
  6. Regardless of your mood, face each day with a smile. Look yourself in the mirror, SMILE! You will smile right back
  7. Smile at someone as you walk by them, you will make their day and they will smile right back
  8. Remember to BREATHE deeply. You can do this anytime, anywhere. It will centre you and relieve stress
  9. Be grateful for what you have. Kids, life, health, family, friends, support, freedom, choice…
  10. Before going to bed at night, as you deep breathe/say a prayer, think of all you’ve accomplished and be thankful
  11. Spend time with your children. REALLY SPEND TIME with your children. They grow so fast, now is the time to build memories
  12. Be in contact regularly with family and friends, and as you make new friends find many reasons to spend time together
  13. You are the author of your future. You decide what roads to take and when to make a detour
  14. Walk your kids to school, walk to the grocery store, go to the park, these are easy ways of getting exercise
  15. Get formal support – from a support group, counsellor or both. Share your thoughts and feelings. Focus on the positives
  16. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, there are lots of people willing to help. Believe that you deserve to have help
  17. Dream big and set goals. What do you want to accomplish in a day, a week, a month, a year?
  18. Keep a diary…remember…Dear diary, today I smiled at a stranger and she smiled back at me. It felt great!
  19. Treat yourself for a job well done! Don’t sweat the small stuff they don’t really count in the end
  20. HANG IN THERE! BE STRONG. YOU CAN DO THIS! YOU ARE A SURVIVOR!

Join the conversation. Email your stories, comments and questions to right-on@hfgfamilies.com

Thanks for joining Right-On with HFG

We look forward to seeing you next Wednesday November 19 for our weekly Right-On conversation

The topic for next week is – Understanding & Working Through Emotional Triggers

Please email your questions and comments to right-on@hfgfamilies.com

If you would like more information on the HFG support group please email info@hfgfamilies.com

Have a great day! HFG Hugs!!

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